Paying tribute to women killed in 2024

The numbers are still high for domestic violence and Gunnedah’s Candlelight Vigil on Tuesday night gave sober insight into this.

The event was held by Gunnedah Shire Council and Gunnedah Community Action Team (GCAT) for the final day of its 16 Days of Activism – which aims to end violence against women and children.

A community barbecue welcomed people to the vigil, serving as the perfect opportunity to talk to service providers.

The Smithurst Theatre forecourt was decorated with orange ribbon cutouts, shirts stamped with statistics and a memorial of the women and children who died in 2024 by men they knew.

Those names were read out by the people attending the vigil, which was compiled by Sherele Moody for the Australian Femicide Watch’s Red Heart Campaign.

UN Women released the statistic that internationally, every 10 minutes, partners or family members killed a woman or girl intentionally in 2023. Gunnedah Family Support’s Vanessa Hodges Schembri labeled the statistic as “harrowing”.

Peter Hall places a candle at the memorial featuring women and children’s names who died by men known to them in 2024.

“It really takes your breath away when you take a moment to consider it,” she said.

“[Australia] oscillates between a woman every 10 days to a woman every week.

“It is certainly looking at more than that this year in Australia.”

Vanessa said there was a peak during COVID and the higher numbers could be a continued result of that.

“They are intolerable realities for us to have to accept,” she said.

She believes there needs to be more done to support women and children impacted by domestic violence and those who perpetrate violence.

“It is not just us, it is an international phenomenon unfortunately,” she said.

She said domestic violence was not always just physical harm.

“It is the behaviours that make us make choices about our safety that perhaps we are not always conscious of,” she said.

If someone avoids doing things because they are afraid of their partner’s reaction, it could be an unsafe sign according to Vanessa.

“That we feel like we are asking permission all the time around basic human rights or feeling fearful of how our partner may react,” she said.

“Those things can be indicators.”

The memorial featuring women and children’s names who have died by men were known to them.

She also believes that conversations around domestic violence can be more difficult in regional and remote areas because the communities are connected.

“It can be a bit more obvious and people don’t necessarily want to be identified in that way,” Vanessa said.

She emphasised that any service or support that is provided by organisations such as Gunnedah Family Support or 1800RESPECT is confidential.

She highlighted the importance of not feeling ashamed or embarrassed if found in a domestic violence situation.

“Relationships and patterns of relationships evolve over time and often people are in it before they realise how far it has gone,” she said.

“Unfortunately, I do think unhealthy patterns in relationships are much more common than what people would realise.

“If you feel isolated from significant relationships and your partner has had a role in that, that may be a good question to ask yourself.

“Sometimes we remove ourselves before any significant damage is done, sometimes we don’t.”

There are multiple services to support those in domestic violence situations such as 1800RESPECT, Lifeline and Gunnedah Family Support.

When asked what is the first step for people who are uncomfortable approaching a service provider initially, Vanessa said having a conversation with a family member or friend was a good place to start.

“Communication is really important but also be prepared that not everyone is going to be the expert on your situation – you are the expert,” she said.

“It is still interesting to get the insight of those who love and care about you.”

She acknowledged Gunnedah Shire Council’s Deb Hilton for her work on the vigil along with other service provider members.